The Try Guys Cheating Scandal

Is your head still spinning from the Try Guy cheating scandal? Join our VPE’s Carolyne Lanyero (she/her) and Nigh Kim (they/them) as they talk about how this scandal highlights power dynamics between employers and employees and discuss SNL’s skit to this scandal.

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Transcript

FINAL Try Guys Cheating Scandal

Tue, Dec 20, 2022 9:40AM • 26:35

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

power, ned, people, company, dynamics, snl, employee, relationship, backlash, nigh, situation, skit, cheating, talking, happen, workplace, buzzfeed, videos, influencer, interpersonal violence

SPEAKERS

Carolyne Lanyero, Nigh Kim

Carolyne Lanyero  00:17

Today I'm joined with fellow intern Nigh. Nigh can you go ahead and introduce yourself for any new listeners?

Nigh Kim  00:24

Hi, I'm Nigh. I am a VPE. I work at the Phoenix Center and I am enjoying myself here.

Carolyne Lanyero  00:33

Awesome. We love to hear it. We're glad you keep coming back. And so essentially today, we're just gonna dive a little bit into what some of you may already be familiar with the Try Guys. So I just want to start off by saying I've always been a big Try Guys fan. I was definitely one of the people who was invested in Buzzfeed when it was their hayday. I feel like we got a lot of great talent from it. There was Try Guys, Love Quinta. If anyone hasn't seen Abbott Elementary, definitely go check that out. There was Sofia, New in the Castle, like lady like if you know them. Were you a Buzzfeed person?

Nigh Kim  01:04

I was a huge BuzzFeed person, especially in their early days. They have like such a good information.

Carolyne Lanyero  01:11

Yeah, low key they yeah, they had a lot of like fun quick videos, they definitely got that algorithm. And then the buzzfeed quizzes. I could not get enough of those.

Nigh Kim  01:19

Yeah. Or like their articles. These things say about you or something like that.  Yeah

Carolyne Lanyero  01:24

Yeah, yeah. Good times. Good time. So essentially, for anyone who doesn't know who the Try Guys are their content creators on YouTube, influencers, and they just essentially like the name says they try a lot of different things. And they've been going I think for about like, eight, nine years now. It's been it's been a while. So essentially, what's been going on is recently one of the Try Guys members, Ned, has left the Try Guys, or should I say he was essentially fired from the Try Guy.

Nigh Kim  01:57

Kicked to the curb

Carolyne Lanyero  01:58

Yeah, kicked to the curb, indeed. Um and so there was a post that went out on a I don't know if it was Twitter, but I know I saw it on YouTube personally, it showed up in my recommended.

Nigh Kim  02:08

It was on Instagram for me. 

Carolyne Lanyero  02:09

Oh, Instagram. Okay, so just all platforms, just the statement from the Try Guy's saying that they're parting with Ned. Um and then Ned followed up with a statement afterwards saying that he was leaving the Tri Guys and he had taken part in how he frames it to be a consensual workplace relationship. And he's using this time to now focus on family. And so getting down to the nitty gritty of it, Ned was involved in a cheating scandal. And so there were photos and videos of him that came out in a public space cheating on his spouse, Ariel, who has appeared in a lot of the Try Guys videos, is a member of the podcast, You Can Sit With Us and also part of the tri wives. And so he was cheating on his spouse with a known employee of the company at a Harry Styles concert. So yeah, I know, I was definitely shocked when I found out. And it's very ironic, because for any of you guys who don't know, Ned, he's definitely known as the wife guy in the team. And so he's always talking about his wife. What about you? What were your initial reactions to this event?

Nigh Kim  03:12

My initial reactions was like, Oh, my God, really? I was not aware of any of this. But then, as everyone started talking about it, it just kind of clicked. I'm like, Heck, I don't know. And what was really interesting was like, all the posts that came out after it was like, Yeah, I could have seen this coming with Ned. Or

Carolyne Lanyero  03:33

they're just like, yeah, like, I've been praying for Ned's downfall for a while.

Nigh Kim  03:37

Yeah. There's like a been a bunch of Reddit posts that have been out recently, as you can tell that they've been cheating since last year, because there's been a bunch of he says, she says stuff. So like, it was like early May of last year whenever he started cheating with his consensual workplace relationship.

Carolyne Lanyero  03:57

Yeah, no. And there's been a lot of talk to I know a lot of play from places I've seen that people have said, like, oh, well, this isn't anything new. And people have said that BuzzFeed and former BuzzFeed employees have come out and been like, yeah, we already knew that like it's been going on. And so yeah, that's been interesting, a lot of the different evidence that people have brought up to the plate, so not to harbor too much on the gossip piece. So getting into what we really want to talk about. SNL did a skit in response to this. And so essentially, SNL they did a skit making fun or like light of this whole situation that's been going on. The Try Guys had posted an official statement video that they put out all the comments, were saying, Wow, Eugene looks so angry and Keith so disappointed. Zach was so sad, and it was just a video of them like acknowledging what's going on and their further steps for the future and the steps that they were taking and a little bit behind their decision. 

Nigh Kim  04:52

It was super mature too

Carolyne Lanyero  04:52

Yeah definitely super mature. And so the SNL did a skit essentially and they - it got a lot of backlash so I could see what they were trying to do with the skit essentially, they were trying to make a commentary on how we focus a lot on like celebrity and influencer drama and different things going on in that world. And a lot of times we ignore, like these different worlds issues and like different things going on at the time. So they're trying to make a comment on that. But essentially, it got a lot of backlash, because a lot of people felt like they were minimizing the situation. Do you want to talk a little bit on that Nigh?

Nigh Kim  05:31

I have so much to talk about this. Oh, my God. Okay. So one of the things that's the whole SNL skit was, first off, they were kind of just downplaying the whole event of Ned cheating on his wife, like, yeah, cheating is bad. But it wasn't just that he was using his power against his one of his employees. He is one of the founders of the Try Guys. And he was using his power against one of his employees to have sex with them. And SNL totally just skipped over that saying it was a consensual kiss. And, oh, it wasn't a big deal. Why are they making fun of it, and they're making fun of these guys who were trying to do the right thing, and trying to do as much as possible to help this girl who was not in the power or in the place where she could keep herself from getting kind of used. And like, there was so much about this, I was just so wrong, where it's like, yeah, cheating is bad. But also, cheating on your wife with one of the people you have superiority over is sketchy.

Carolyne Lanyero  06:36

Yeah, definitely what you mentioned. Yeah, they had said, like in the skit like, Oh, you guys fired him because he had an adult relationship with someone else. And yeah, people were mad, because they totally missed the point of that relationship that he has. He's a founder of that company. He's an owner, he has, he's at the very top with the other Try Guys, he has a lot of the power pretty much all the power in that company. And this person that he cheated with, was one of the people who was working underneath him. So yeah, a lot of people felt like that was minimizing that situation. And yeah, a lot of people were upset by that.

Nigh Kim  07:14

It was super toxic, like toxic masculinity, and he was making fun of these guys who had emotions. And we're trying to express that to their audience.

Carolyne Lanyero  07:23

Mm hmm. And I think you had really pointed out about the fact that they were being like really ridiculed for taking this step and taking initiative and responsibility within their own company, when they saw that, yes, this is an issue because oftentimes, in these different spheres, and like in influencer, and Hollywood and different things, these power dynamics are left to run rampant, they're not addressed. And so essentially getting into just the idea of that he was an owner of the company, like you had mentioned, he has power in that company, there's a power dynamic there. And so because he has, he is an owner and founder of the company, and the way like this company is structured, and most companies are structured, or that it's structured in a hierarchy. So he's going to be at the very top of this hierarchy, and the people underneath him like he has power and influence over them, he has far more power and influence, he has the power to fire this employee that he was in a relationship with. And so I think like specifically coming back to the whole point of the idea of this consensual work relationship, workplace relationship, that he was talking about the type of like, consensual piece, like when we're talking about these employee relationships, relationships, where they have a power dynamic, oftentimes, just their nature of them oftentimes cannot be consensual,

Nigh Kim  08:45

and it has a lot to do with money resources.

Carolyne Lanyero  08:48

Mm hmm. Yeah, definitely like the money and resources, he had resource over her. And then also, just when you have a consensual relationship, especially, oftentimes, in our society, in different power structures, we're going to have different situations where there are formal power dynamics and formal power dynamics, for example. And so depending on someone's identities, they could have potential power in different situations. Like, for example, in our society, men are inherently given power, when compared to women over women, reverses, like in our society, also, there's power dynamics and power hierarchies related to race and ethnicity. And so oftentimes, when you have these consensual relationships, you want to make it so that we can never fully get rid of these different power dynamics that exist in society because they're so ingrained, especially those informal ones, but we want to make a situation where we minimize them as much as possible. And in this situation, if he had cheated with someone who was on the same level as him in the company, there wouldn't be this power dynamic issue necessarily,

Nigh Kim  09:59

Or if he cheated on somebody that wasn't even a part of this company at all. It would be a whole different situation.

Carolyne Lanyero  10:05

Yeah, it would be it. Yeah, exactly. It would be a different situation. Maybe if she had left the company before engaging this relationship, or he had left the company, then yeah, there wouldn't be that power dynamic that existed between them talking a little bit and getting into especially employer employee relationships. So there's a lot, there's a lot to unpack there. And I'm definitely not the expert on it. I tried to, I don't know about you Nigh, but there's a lot I don't know, I'm not an HR personally. But yeah, your employer has power. And so this person, their, Ned, he's in a position of trust. And so he's occupying a position of authority. And so oftentimes, what can happen there is when you have interpersonal violence, what drives interpersonal violence is this idea of power and control. So perpetrators are able to exert power and control over survivors or over their victims. And so in these situations, it sets it up. So that power dynamic already exists. And it makes people really vulnerable in these different types of relationships. One of the things that can happen is like the quid pro quo, or just kind of blackmail and things like that, where you can have someone in a position of power, and we see this a lot in like the industry. And I think this is what also made people upset is because when we had the SNL skit happening, they really minimized just that in the history of like the industry and influencers and internet and media, there's often been this quid pro quo mentality and these people in power, using different favors with getting sexual favors in exchange for some type of opportunity or benefit in a situation. And not saying that, because we don't know like the details of their relationship, but just this is in these power dynamics, this is one of the things that can often arise in ways that power can be abused.

Nigh Kim  12:01

Yeah, I feel like with the SNL skit as well, SNL as a company themselves also had these power dynamics scandals within their own company. So I feel like they could have done this in a different way where they actually acknowledged the power dynamic and sort of gloss past it. And I feel like this is just a very bad image to put themselves in.

Carolyne Lanyero  12:25

Yeah, and I like that you brought up just the fact of SNL Yeah, and their own like struggles in different things that have come to light about their company in the past and the different ways that their environment is toxic and helps encourage these different it power imbalances and things like that. And yeah, I know what like the skit I saw some like different funny videos talking about how like they could have done better. Instead of like minimizing the situation they could have really played on the different emotions of like, the other Try Guys and things like that. And like played into like, Eugene was mad. He was super mad and things like that. Yeah, that makes you think like what type of culture and like with the writers and different things does SNL have

Nigh Kim  13:06

It also, they never made fun of Ned within that whole thing. They only made fun of the tribe guys that stayed in the company.

Carolyne Lanyero  13:13

Yeah, that's also another reason why Yeah, there didn't bring up Ned at any time. That could have been great source material to go with, like this guy who's always talking about his wife, they have people have made compilations of different videos of him going on, like my wife, my wife, my wife, and then being like, Hmm, interesting. And I feel like this also often calls back to just in our society, I'm just talking about like interpersonal violence in general, people who are in these positions of powers, or people who perpetrate interpersonal violence, they're often not brought into the discussion, oftentimes, like survivors will be the people who come out into the media and who are criticized and who are really put under this microscope. And yeah, the perpetrators are the people in positions of power. They kind of get away like Scotch free.

Nigh Kim  13:59

Yeah, we can always relate this back to a bunch of other stuff as well, power dynamics are huge within Media. We can relate this back to the Bill Clinton scandal with him in the secretary. Like the problem wasn't that he was cheating on his wife, even though that is a problem of itself. It was because he was using his power against a secretary to have sexual favors given to him.

Carolyne Lanyero  14:21

Mm hmm. Yeah, exactly what you're saying. And that's also another TV show, I want to watch. So maybe we can do a podcast about that. But then just the idea of him using that power, and then her having to deal with the backlash of that and him essentially getting off without really being skates. And still having this public perception like a two term president. Maybe it all ended up and worked out for him, but I don't know much about Monica Lewinsky and her experience but like her career, I from what I believe was ruined after that. 

Nigh Kim  14:55

Oh, yeah, I feel like a lot of blame is put on the woman which is kind of awful. Because I feel as though they try to put it on somebody that isn't in a position of power, because it's one of those things where we have the stigma where it's like, Hey, I would never expect somebody to do that, in that position of power. I think it was the woman's fault.

Carolyne Lanyero  15:16

Yeah, definitely just that's a whole other topic box. 

Nigh Kim  15:21

Yeah, 

Carolyne Lanyero  15:21

Pandora's box to go off. 

Nigh Kim  15:22

There's so much in this problem, like you're talking about, 

Carolyne Lanyero  15:24

I know, the tri guys made their own podcast in response to the SNL skit and response to everything that's been going on. And one thing that Keith mentioned, was just talking about the public backlash of everything that's like happened from this, there's been a lot of like death threats, which I think death threats, they're never warranted for these different types of situations. And like canceled culture is a whole other thing we could talk about. And actually, I think we have a podcast about that. So go have a scroll through back in our history, check that out. But just the idea of Alexandria has been getting a lot of the backlash, and a lot of these death threats. But in these situations, especially, it's up to the person who is in a position of power to establish these boundaries, they with that position of power and position of authority that they have, it is their responsibility to make sure that those boundaries are not crossed and establish those 

Nigh Kim  15:25

Exactly.

Carolyne Lanyero  15:25

Going back to like different power dynamics and relationships within the workplace, especially employee employer relationships, you can have the quid pro quo, but then it could also lead potentially, like be perceived as coercion, or it could be a coercive situation where it's kind of like the person who is the employee, and they have a manager or supervisor who's getting this relationship with them, they could see that as Oh, my goodness, if I don't do this for this person, or they could have been told or threatened that, like, Oh, if you do not do this, then this will happen. And they could feel pressure to begin this relationship. Yeah. And fear of like having consequences if they don't,

Nigh Kim  17:01

Not really realizing that there's going to be bigger consequences afterwards, which is really sad,

Carolyne Lanyero  17:06

Mhm. Yeah. And then especially like talking about how the people who usually are not in positions of power usually get a lot of that backlash. And they'll probably end up being like fired or transferred or something like that. Yeah, that's a really hard and difficult situation to be in. And especially if they are a supervisor. And if they oversee, especially like a really big company, if they're at the very top, then even going within the company to get help, that can be really, really difficult because of the sway that person may have. We want to acknowledge that there are the formal positions of power, but there's also informal, like that person could be well liked within the workplace, what lies within the community, they could have some sway like, say if they were the leader of a union or something like that. And they can also use those to try and establish power. 

Nigh Kim  17:52

Yeah. 

Carolyne Lanyero  17:54

And yeah, and then just with the employer, employee relationships, it can also establish this inequality within the company, say, if this person is getting different favors, or there's things that are happening, and like other employees are not getting, essentially, that could create some different dynamics in the workplace as well.

Nigh Kim  18:16

Another thing to bring up that isn't rarely with like the core version, but like the backlash that happened with all this is that the Try Guys themselves, were all terrified, because this whole scandal with Ned, oh, would have affected everyone, the people that worked for them, their family, their loved ones, and especially like their side quests. So with Keith, in particular, he does a thing called Lou Burger. And he does like it's a whole musical skit. It's super funny. And he has three friends that do that with him. And he thought that would ruin him and his friends, and all this backlash could hurt the people around him. And he feels bad, because it's one of the things where he is involved with this. But also, if you're involved with him, you get as much backlash as he did. You know, I feel like it's one of those things where if you're even like, talk to the person that isn't that bad, or in the wrong, you're kind of also in the bad or in the wrong. So it's like if you associate with them, or you help along with this, it paints you as a way, you know,

Carolyne Lanyero  19:18

Yeah, kinda. You're associated with it. Anyway, I will say like, if you Yeah, if you did know about a relationship like this, you should probably record it and everything like that. But yeah, just because the other guys they didn't know. And that's also things saying that, like people said, Oh, they should have known. 

Nigh Kim  19:34

Yeah, and a lot of people said they should have reported on sooner. But like, again, we mentioned before where it's like this is a company. It's a whole process to go through this and talk through it and like even to get Ned out of the company. It took about like, two months they were talking about or like a month and a half. 

Carolyne Lanyero  19:54

A month, yeah, around there. In the podcast. They mentioned that they had to go through a lot of these different legal channels, and they had a lot of struggles and struggles with maintaining their self care from all the different meetings, they have to go through all the different people that they had to talk to just essentially making sure that it was legal. And they were going through the legal process of firing him, just so he couldn't go back and sue for like defamation and just protecting the company. And also they talked about their brand, and protecting their image and using HR to define and align what their organizational purpose is explaining how like those actions don't fit with their brands, and how that they had a responsibility not just to their brand and their image, but also the other people who work there and also depend on this job.

Nigh Kim  20:43

That's like a whole other layer as well. SNL also, like made fun of them for that, where it's like, you have all this money, why does it matter that he cheated? You know, that was like a whole part of their skit where it was like, Well, you guys are what million years and you guys have all these followers? Why does it matter if he kissed somebody? They downplayed this whole thing? Because if you have money, you could basically do anything you want, huh? Yes, money gives you power in our world. But just that,

Carolyne Lanyero  21:10

Unfortunately, yeah, they talked a lot about with like the different legal guidelines and the things that they could do and cannot do. They mentioned, they had to keep a lot of this and they weren't able to talk to the other employees and give them an answer within the company. And there's certain things that legally they were allowed to say certain things that they weren't allowed to say, throughout this entire process. And one thing, I also want to point out with the different platforms and the different responses that we've been getting, so we have like the Tri Guys and their team and their response that they've had. And then we also have Ned and he responded with his own posts on social media. And the track guys also pointed out how they thought it was a really strategic thing, because a lot of the format matched exactly with the posts, they put out a lot of the text and everything matched exactly. And so they thought it was like a strategic way. Yeah, coordination, like his team, and whoever he has on that, just trying to make it look like it was a cohesive leave. And it was mutually decided upon. But then in the midst of all this, and one of our interns, Hannah brought this up. Thank you, Hannah, she helped me with some of this information. So shout out to her. But Alex, within all this, we haven't heard from her. And she hasn't been able to come out and have this platform and say, Okay, this is my story of this. And she's not able to control any of this situation, or have any of this branding as well,

Nigh Kim  22:35

Especially since she is an employee still at the Try Guys, and they're trying to probably go through a bunch of legal stuff, you're not allowed to talk about any of that stuff. 

Carolyne Lanyero  22:44

Oh, really, I didn't know she was still an employee there.

Nigh Kim  22:46

There's a bunch of stuff about that, because of the power dynamic scandal, she was allowed to stay in employee. And if they fired her, she could have sued them. There's a bunch of legal repercussions that can happen because of that. So we don't actually know if she's still an employee or not. But since I haven't announced anything, since she hasn't announced anything, I'm pretty sure that it's still going into a lawsuit of some sort.

Carolyne Lanyero  23:09

Yeah, that's really interesting. Just switching gears back to talking about like workplace relationships, we want to just encourage everyone to in different workplace relationships, there can be really different policies regarding workplace relationships. And so to everyone off, make sure if you are in a workplace relationship, or if maybe there is a situation that you're in and you're like, huh, like, I don't know about this, always trust your intuition, and see what different resources that they have available. And I think that's also one thing to look for, when you're going into a company, what is their HR department like, because these are the people who are set up to hopefully, we will hold the fortunately, sometimes HR they do what's in best interests of the company. But maybe finding an HR organization within the company that does does, yeah, like they delegate for the workers. And they're there to protect the workers and not just the company and their capital, and whatnot. Different companies have different policies on workplace relationships, some may allow it with different specific circumstances, or some may not allow it at all. So it's always important to look at those different things. 

Nigh Kim  24:24

And then you also have companies that say, if you're going to be in a workplace relationship, you better tell us immediately and then we can move you,

Carolyne Lanyero  24:30

Mhm. Yeah, like there are some different options in there. Like we're saying people are going to find like their loved ones at work. That often happens because you spend a lot of time with your co workers. So it's likely that relationships will develop. But it is really important to try and like we talked about the beginning minimizing those different power differentials that can exist within those and yeah, like that might include like maybe finding a different job at a different company or being moved if your company is big enough being moved to a different part of the company where that person may not have any sort of power over you. Yeah. Also like here on the Auraria Campus know, the different roles that you may have, like a lot of us are responsible employees. And that's essentially anyone who has any sort of authority to hire or grade, ectra. So things like teachers are responsible employees. And usually we talked about this in the form of reporting violence when you hear it, but I also say can go along with this and just recognizing where those power dynamics exists. So like TAs, faculty, staff, RAs are often ones I personally forget about.

Nigh Kim  24:31

I mean, that's one of the reasons why we were founded in the first place was because of that. 

Carolyne Lanyero  24:52

Yeah, that's also good thing to know. Thank you all so much for listening. Nigh, do you have anything else you'd like to add any final words? 

Nigh Kim  25:48

No. Thank you for listening. I'm excited to be here again. 

Carolyne Lanyero  25:52

Yeah. Awesome. So everyone, look out for a transcription. We like to add those typically to our websites, and then please keep listening. We'll have a lot of different podcasts coming up in the near future. And then also everyone stay warm. It's very cold outside. I personally do not like the cold. And here I have a tremendous day an